The RB Handcuff Update, ROS Strength of Schedule — And More Things To Know For Week 5

Week 5 is upon us. Reminder: Friends and family come and go, but fantasy football championship banners hang forever.

This brings us to today's goal: 10 mostly fantasy-relevant things to know ahead of Week 5 that ideally will help make you both a better fantasy manager and overall person.

This week's article will be just a bit different than usual: Since we now have four solid weeks of data under our belts, I'm going to focus half of the 10 things on upcoming strength of schedule takeaways in an effort to find good bye week fill-ins, buy-lows, sell-highs, and much more. Cool? Cool.

As always: It's a great day to be great.

1. Which NFL offenses are *definitely* good?

The below chart shows every offense's EPA per dropback and rush this season (via rbsdm.com which is a GREAT free resource).

With all due respect to offenses like the Chiefs (improving!), Rams (very good!), and Commanders (get healthy, Jayden!): Five offenses have separated themselves as especially good units in both the run and pass games.

Lions (1st-ranked scoring offense): All the key parties involved are consistently booming … except Jameson Williams and David Montgomery–good thing this offense has as great of a smash spot as you could ask for this Sunday against the lowly Bengals. Nobody is implied to score more points than the Lions (29.25) this week.

Bills (2nd-ranked scoring offense): The second-highest implied offense of Week 5 unfortunately uses an "Everybody eats" mantra which is great and all, just not so much for the involved fantasy managers. Accordingly, Josh Allen and James Cook are somehow the only must-start options from anyone's idea of an elite offense, even if Dalton Kincaid and Khalil Shakir deserve credit for largely making the most out of their opportunities this season.

Colts (4th-ranked scoring offense): Life comes at you fast: Daniel Jones is the game's QB3 in EPA per dropback. Credit to Indiana Jones for playing some great ball, and the offense's plethora of talented WRs and stud rookie TE have been unleashed in a well-designed Shane Steichen scheme that has used pre-snap shift/motion and play-action at top-10 rates this season. Oh yeah, and that Jonathan Taylor guy is on pace for 2,240 total yards. Not too shabby!

Cowboys (5th-ranked scoring offense): Dallas ranks first in total yards on offense … and dead last in total yards allowed on defense. This is basically the 2024 Bengals reincarnated: Every matchup has the potential to turn into a fantasy-friendly shootout–enjoy the ride!

Packers (9th-ranked scoring offense): Have scored 27-plus points while looking GOOD against everyone other than the beastly Browns through four weeks. The passing game remains a bit annoyingly spread out, but either way credit to Jordan Love (QB9), Josh Jacobs (RB8), Romeo Doubs (WR20) and Tucker Kraft (TE5) for putting up some numbers through the first month of the season. Here's to hoping the banged-up offensive line exits their Week 5 bye a bit healthier.

Of course, there was supposed to be one more team on this list, but unfortunately it's tough to call the Ravens an elite offense with Lamar Jackson (hamstring) reportedly expected to miss 2-3 weeks. Given their Week 7 bye, it'd make sense if it's the Cooper Rush "show" against the Texans and Rams. Kudos to Rush for going 9-5 in 14 career starts; just realize he was seldom asked to do too much for the Cowboys in those spot starts. He ranks 47th in EPA per dropback (-0.047) and 46th in yards per attempt (6.3) among 52 qualified QBs since 2021. Here's to hoping the Ravens simply give Derrick Henry 35 rushes per game and see what happens.

2. The RB Report: What's the state of every backfield?

Workhorse alert: Jonathan Taylor (88% snaps), Omarion Hampton (88%), Christian McCaffrey (87%), Tony Pollard (85%), Ashton Jeanty (85%), Saquon Barkley (83%), Javonte Williams (81%), Kenneth Gainwell (77%), De'Von Achane (75%), Cam Skattebo (75%), James Cook (74%), Chase Brown (74%), and Alvin Kamara (72%) were the only 13 RBs to play at least 70% of their offense's snaps in Week 4. All should be auto starts in pretty much fantasy lineups of all shapes and sizes with the only four real exceptions being Pollard (Titans rank 32nd in points scored), Brown (Bengals rank 30th in points scored), Kamara (easily averaging a career-low 12.3 receiving yards per game), and Gainwell (he's on a bye, but shoutout for the great performance and he's worth getting on the bench anyway!). Even then, I typically let a workhorse RB's volume win as the tiebreaker over WR3 types in close start/sit decisions.

Still a bell-cow, wouldn't sweat it: RBs who didn't quite rack up a near every-down role in terms of snaps, but continued to dominate their backfield's overall touches and should be continued to be relied on in fantasy lineups of all shapes and sizes include: Bijan Robinson, Kyren Williams, Josh Jacobs, Travis Etienne, Breece Hall, Jahmyr Gibbs, and Derrick Henry (shoutout Justice Hill though). Big shoutout to Mr. Robinson in particular: Bijan is currently pacing for 1,335 rushing and 1,148 receiving yards–the 1k/1k feat is something that only CMC, Marshall Faulk, and Roger Craig have accomplished in NFL history.

Those damn Injury Gods: Trey Benson (knee, IR) and Bucky Irving (foot) are hurt, dog. Can God turn off injuries already?

For the Cardinals, I'm cautiously expecting Michael Carter to lead the way over pass-down specialist Emari Demercado in the near-term, but it's speculative, and it also wouldn't be surprising to see Bam Knight get some snaps. This season Arizona has already made a habit of keeping things more committee-like than in past years; I'd be surprised if they feel confident enough in any of these guys to give them the sort of every-down role that alluded James Conner and Benson. It'd also make a lot of sense if Arizona explores the trade and free agent markets now without their top-two RBs. I think the most likely answer to which of these RBs you really want on your fantasy team is "no."

As for the Bucs: Here's to hoping their electric second-year RB winds up shedding his walking boot and suiting up this Sunday, but if not I do expect Rachaad White to lead the way. Yes, Sean Tucker was awesome in limited opportunities last season. Also yes, we saw White dominate usage in Week 14 when Irving was limited to just 10 snaps due to injury. Maybe that was more of a mid-game injury thing, but the fact that White has 31 touches to Tucker's … 1 … this season makes me believe there's not exactly a competition here for the No. 2 job. I'm firing up White as a volume-based RB2; my bigger concern is this banged-up Buccaneers offensive line attempting to handle the Seahawks' third-ranked defense in EPA allowed per rush.

The workload is there, but the efficiency and/or scoring upside is not: Guys who you generally will probably still start in fantasy, but maybe you don't NEED to if you can help it include: D'Andre Swift (sell high-ish during bye?), Jordan Mason (especially this week vs. Myles Garrett and company behind a very banged up offensive line), and Chuba Hubbard (Panthers are a bottom-seven team in yards and EPA per play).

Concerns, but I'm generally pushing through them: Feature Quinshon Judkins and Kennth Walker. The former because Judkins has BEAST'd his way to working as the RB2 in yards after contact per carry this season while displaying weekly 20-plus touch upside, and the latter is looking at 15-20 touches in his own right in a better-than-expected Seahawks offense hellbent on running the football. Would it be a lot cooler if Judkins' offense was better, and if Walker had more of a three-down role ahead of Zach Charbonnet? Of course, but life isn't fair, and these are still two clear-cut RB2s worth starting in far more lineups than not. Deal with it.

These committees are gross, man: Isiah Pacheco is the lead RB in Kansas City BUT loses goal line work to Kareem Hunt and a few designed targets to Brashard Smith, the Commanders are using an evenly-split three-pronged approach despite having future Hall of Famer Bill Croskey-Merritt on their roster, and the Patriots continue to cycle between Rhamondre Stevenson, TreVeyon Henderson, and Antonio Gibson. And guess what: Nobody involved is exactly blowing their teammates out of the water, and to their credit the Commanders (No. 1) and Chiefs (No. 12) have been among the league's top teams in EPA per designed rush from RBs.

America loves a comeback: And it'd make a lot of sense if David Montgomery rebounds in a major way after turning nine carries into just 12 yards against Myles Garrett and company. Even after the performance the man is averaging a career-best 5.7 yards per carry. Gibbs is getting more pass-down work and fully cemented as a top-five RB, but Monty has 28 TDs in 32 games since joining the Lions in 2023 and continues to profile for 12-15 touches more weeks than not. That archetype is tough to complain about as a massive favorite against the Bengals.

Changing of the guard in Denver?: Kind of! Things were closer than usual between JK Dobbins and RJ Harvey; credit to both for making the most out of their touches against the Bengals' sad excuse for a professional football team. That said: Dobbins was basically pulled from the game after clearing 100 rushing yards–the first Denver RB to do so since Latavius Murray in 2022!–leading to Harvey racking up seven of his 18 touches with the game essentially sealed up. Still a step in the right direction, but when accounting for this garbage time usage we didn't actually see Harvey run more routes or play significantly more snaps than usual.

Deep league handcuff alert: Not to hurt myself patting my own back, but last week we recommended scooping up Woody Marks (now firmly on the RB2 borderline at worst) before it was the cool thing to do in this very article. This week? We move our attention to Saints RB Kendre Miller (5% rostered on Yahoo), you know, at least in normal leagues that don't HAVE someone like Marks available on waivers (blow the budget on the man if so). Other guys who profile as great bench stashes: Blake Corum (27%), Tyler Allgeier (35%) and in DEEP leagues keep an eye on Raheem Mostert (1%), who took over as Jeanty's direct backup last Sunday.

3. QB strength of schedule breakdown: Post-bye boom incoming for Caleb Williams?

Best schedules

1. Bears QB Caleb Williams (Bye, WSH, NO, BAL, CIN)
2. Panthers QB Bryce Young (MIA, DAL, NYJ, BUF, GB)
3. Bengals QB Jake Browning (DET, GB, PIT, NYJ, CHI)
4. Rams QB Matthew Stafford (SF, BAL, JAX, BYE, NO)
5. Saints QB Spencer Rattler (NYG, NE, CHI, TB, LAR)

Here's to hoping Williams and the Bears can really start to gel following their Week 5 bye, but the early returns on the newfound partnership with Ben Johnson have been solid. The 2024 NFL Draft's No. 1 overall pick has mightily improved his yards per attempt (6.3 vs. 7.1), QBR (43.3 vs. 57.5), and EPA per dropback (-0.03 vs. +0.03) this season. The fantasy points have followed: Williams is one of just seven QBs averaging 20 fantasy points per game this season and would be a consensus top-eight option at the position if we re-drafted for the rest of the year today. Here's to hoping the easy looks easier in Week 6 and beyond, because Williams has continued to demonstrate the sort of escapability (leads all QBs in missed tackles forced) and arm talent (this was a piss missile) that gives him such a tantalizing ceiling.

Worst schedules

1. Bills QB Josh Allen (NE, ATL, BYE, CAR, KC)
2. Texans QB CJ Stroud (BAL, BYE, SEA, SF, DEN)
3. Vikings QB Carson Wentz (CLE, BYE, PHI, LAC, DET)
4. Giants QB Jaxson Dart (NO, PHI, DEN, PHI, SF)
5. Eagles QB Jalen Hurts (DEN, NYG, MIN, NYG, BYE)

I wouldn't sweat the Allen/Hurts placement in here–the trickier one is what to make of Dart. While the rookie's starting debut wasn't exactly filled with all good (111 passing yards, 5 sacks), a win is a win is a win, and he wasn't exactly set up for a major boom against Jesse Minter's Chargers defense–particularly after Malik Nabers (ACL) was lost for the season midway through the second quarter. That loss obviously weakens Dart's fantasy upside, but he could still f*ck around and post some borderline QB1 numbers if this rushing usage continues. Consider: Dart's 11.4 fantasy points from purely rushing were good for the ninth-highest single-game mark this season–and he would've finished inside the top five had this electric 39-yard scramble not been called back on a hold.

4. RB strength of schedule breakdown: Tough sledding ahead for Jordan Mason

Best schedules

1. Bears RB D'Andre Swift (BYE, WSH, NO, BAL, CIN)
2. Panthers RB Chuba Hubbard (MIA, DAL, NYJ, BUF, GB)
3. Bengals RB Chase Brown (DET, GB, PIT, NYJ, CHI)
4. Rams RB Kyren Williams (SF, BAL, JAX, BYE, NO)
5. Saints RB Alvin Kamara (NYG, NE, CHI, TB, LAR)

Too bad Kyren is the only RB we can really expect to make a lot out of these comfy schedules. Perhaps Swift can work more efficiently after the Bears' Week 5 bye, but each of Hubbard, Brown, and Kamara are unfortunately stuck in offenses liable to implode during any given week. That said, yeah, shoutout Williams: He's looked good the last two weeks and is on pace for 323 touches this season despite fantasy nerds continuing to freak out about Blake Corum getting a few extra snaps per game.

Worst schedules

1. Bills RB James Cook (NE, ATL, BYE, CAR, KC)
2. Titans RB Tony Pollard (ARZ, LV, NE, IND, LAC)
3. Vikings RB Jordan Mason (CLE, BYE, PHI, LAC, DET)
4. Giants RB Cam Skatttebo (NO, PHI, DEN, PHI, SF)
5. Eagles RB Saquon Barkley (DEN, NYG, MIN, NYG, BYE)

I wouldn't worry about this for Cook, Skattebo, and Barkley; each is locked into high enough volume to not overly sweat a tough string of matchups. You weren't feeling confident about playing Pollard anyway.

The more concerning piece is Mason, who continues to profile for 15-20 touches per week with Aaron Jones (hamstring, IR) sidelined, but …

• Expecting high-end weekly scoring upside inside this Carson Wentz or JJ McCarthy-led "attack" feels like wishful thinking.
• Zavier Scott is involved enough on pass downs to limit Mason from having a TRUE every-down role.
• This offensive line just cannot catch a break: C Ryan Kelly (concussion), G Donovan Jackson (wrist), and RT Brian O'Neill (knee, week-to-week) are all kinds of banged up.

Up next: Myles Garrett and a Browns defense that has allowed a league-low 0.16 RB rush yards before contact per carry. Best of luck, Jordan.

5. WR strength of schedule breakdown: We're saying there's still a chance for Marvin Harrison Jr.

Best schedules

1. Cardinals WR Marvin Harrison (TEN, IND, GB, BYE, DAL)
2. Bears WR Rome Odunze and DJ Moore (BYE, WSH, NO, BAL, CIN)
3. Raiders WR Jakobi Meyers (IND, TEN, KC, BYE, JAX)
4. Broncos WR Courtland Sutton (PHI, NYJ, NYG, DAL, HOU)
5. Colts WR Michael Pittman (LV, ARI, LAC, TEN, PIT)

Shoutout to Rome (PPR WR3), Sutton (WR12), and Pittman (WR13) for putting together some stellar starts to the season; I wouldn't expect them to cool off thanks to these plus schedules coming up. I'm also cautiously optimistic better days will be ahead of Meyers, although he has the unfortunate "honor" of leading the league in targets that were ultimately intercepted (4) at the moment.

And then there's Marv. Maybe he can start to get things going here? Each of the Titans (27th), Colts (29th), Packers (16th), and Cowboys (32nd) present plus spots in terms of PPR points per game allowed to WRs. Of course, blame deserves to go all around for the uneven start: Marv has three drops on the year, Kyler Murray hates throwing to his WRs, and OC Drew Petzing's scheme has utilized both pre-snap shift/motion and play-action at below-average rates. Ultimately, I'm treating Marv as the boom-or-bust WR3 he's largely been throughout his 21 career games, although I sure would love to be wrong and see the 2024 NFL Draft's fourth overall pick start living up to his "generational" billing.

Worst schedules

1. Buccaneers WR Emeka Egbuka and Chris Godwin (SEA, SF, DET, NO, BYE)
2. Lions WR Amon-Ra St. Brown and Jameson Williams (CIN, KC, TB, BYE, MIN)
3. Bills WR Keon Coleman and Khalil Shakir (NE, ATL, BYE, CAR, KC)
4. Texans WR Nico Collins (BAL, BYE, SEA, SF, DEN)
5. Falcons WR Drake London and Darnell Mooney (BYE, BUF, SF, MIA, NE)

There's enough volume going around to most of these involved parties to not overly sweat things.

Of course, the exception is Jamo–but don't be surprised if he breaks out of this de facto early-season slump against the Bengals on Sunday. Detroit certainly did their best to get him going last week: Williams led all players with a whopping 195 unrealized yards–the third-highest single-game mark going back to at least 2022! Obviously having under 50 receiving yards in three of his first four games hasn't been ideal; just realize the Lions are trying, and I wouldn't bet on the speedy fourth-year field-stretcher staying quiet for too much longer.

6. TE strength of schedule breakdown: Tucker Kraft to the f*cking moon

Best schedules

1. Packers TE Tucker Kraft (BYE, CIN, ARI, PIT, CAR)
2. Bengals TE Mike Gesicki (DET, GB, PIT, NYJ, CHI)
3. Browns TE David Njoku and Harold Fannin (MIN, PIT, MIA, NE, BYE)
4. Bears TE Cole Kmet and Colston Loveland (BYE, WSH, NO, BAL, CIN)
5. Buccaneers TE Cade Otton (SEA, SF, DET, NO, BYE)

Hopefully Loveland is the recipient of a post-bye rookie bump–the schedule is certainly appealing. While a hip injury kept the rookie sidelined in Week 4, it doesn't sound like a long-term issue, and man did it look like the Bears were starting to feature Loveland beforehand: Caleb Williams targeted the 10th overall pick on three of his five pass routes in Week 3 before he was ultimately injured. Don't expect Kmet to completely disappear, but then again he had a pretty rough Week 4–I'm more than willing to take a flyer on Loveland in leagues where bye-week needy managers are forced to part ways.

Worst schedules

1. Patriots TE Hunter Henry (BUF, NO, TEN, CLE, ATL)
2. Raiders TE Brock Bowers (IND, TEN, KC, BYE, JAX)
3. Giants TE Theo Johnson (NO, PHPI, DEN, PHI, SF)
4. Vikings TE TJ Hockenson (CLE, BYE, PHI, LAC, DET)
5. Broncos TE Evan Engram (PHI, NYJ, NYG, DAL, HOU)

Not great for all parties involved, particularly Bowers who has largely rode the struggle bus all season long. Now, the record-breaking second-year TE also hasn't looked like himself while playing through a knee injury; just realize Bowers already has finished with under 50 yards in four games–something that only happened six times all of last season. Here's to hoping things turn around soon–particularly with Michael Mayer (concussion) probably (?) returning from injury sooner rather than later.

7. DST strength of schedule breakdown: LOVING the Patriots … after this week

Best schedules

1. Packers DST (BYE, CIN, ARI, PIT, CAR)
2. Dolphins DST (CAR, LAC, CLE, ATL, BAL)
3. Patriots DST (BUF, NO, TEN, CLE, ATL)
4. Browns DST (MIN, PIT, MIA, NE, BYE)
5. Colts DST (LV, ARI, LAC, TEN, PIT)

Last week was annoying, but the Packers' borderline erotic four-game stretch coming up makes them worth holding through the bye or picking up if possible.

Otherwise: I'm LOVING rolling with the Patriots for the foreseeable future–just not this week against the Bills. My proposal (as touched on last week): Pick up the Browns (10% rostered on Yahoo) against Wentz and this banged-up Vikings o-line to cover your bases in Week 5, and then ride with New England (or the Chargers) for the foreseeable future. My preference is the Patriots, especially considering they got No. 1 CB Christian Gonzalez back and boast arguably the league's best group of returners in Marcus Jones, Antonio Gibson, and TreVeyon Henderson.

Worst schedules

1. Chiefs DST (JAX, DET, LV, WSH, BUF)
2. Commanders DST (LAC, CHI, DAL, KC, SEA)
3. Raiders DST (IND, TEN, KC, BYE, JAX)
4. Bengals DST (DET, GB, PIT, NYJ, CHI)
5. Cardinals DST (TEN, IND, GB, BYE, DAL)

None of these defenses are really being relied on much anyway; the biggest takeaway here is that this is probably the last week to rely on the Cardinals and (to a lesser extent) Chiefs.

8. The Sheesh Report: Who was *this* close to putting together a big day at the office last week?

Stopped at the one-yard line and did NOT score on the same drive

Every week I decide to embrace the pain and look up what players got tackled at the one-yard line and did NOT score a TD on the same drive.

*Law and Order music*

These are their stories:

• Giants RB Cam Skattebo (x2, same drive)
• Packers RB Josh Jacobs
• Steelers RB Kenneth Gainwell
• Jets RB Braelon Allen (lost fumble)
• Cowboys WR George Pickens
• Colts WR AD Mitchell (lost fumble)
• Vikings WR Jordan Addison
• Browns WR Cedric Tillman
• Packers TE Tucker Kraft (x2, different drives)
• Patriots TE Hunter Henry
• Panthers TE Tommy Tremble
• Browns QB Joe Flacco (x2, same drive)

Unrealized Air yards

"Unrealized air yards" measure the total amount of air yards on incomplete targets. This helps identify players who had all sorts of fantasy-friendly downfield opportunities, but they simply couldn't come up with completions for one reason or another.

Anyway, eight players had more than 70 unrealized air yards in Week 4 (pre-MNF):

• Lions WR Jameson Williams (195)
• Colts WR Michael Pittman (130)
• Buccaneers WR Chris Godwin (124)
• Eagles WR AJ Brown (117)
• Browns WR Jerry Jeudy (110)
• Buccaneers WR Emeka Egbuka (88)
• Chiefs WR Xavier Worthy (87)
• Broncos WR Troy Franklin (87)
• Bears TE Cole Kmet (73)

We already discussed Jamo's wild numbers, but there are two other big takeaways here:

• Xavier Worthy: Played a near full-time role with 71% of the offense's routes in his first game back from suffering a dislocated shoulder. The Chiefs certainly didn't ease Worthy back into action, as the second-year speedster racked up a team-high eight targets and tacked on two rush attempts for good measure. I'm firing up Worthy as a legit WR1 with confidence while Rashee Rice remains suspended.
• Chris Godwin: Only caught three of 10 targets, but passed the eye test and wasn't at all limited (91% routes). There should be more than enough meat on the bone for both Godwin and Emeka Egbuka to ball out during Mike Evans' (hamstring) absence; I'm riding with Godwin as my WR32 for now but that admittedly already feels low–he's be firmly inside the position's top-24 if/when we get some realized production on the table.

Sheesh player of the week: Colts WR AD Mitchell

Who else could it be? Not only did Mitchell commit one of the biggest gaffs in recent memory by fumbling the ball out the back of the end zone, but he ALSO got flagged for a hold on a SWEET Jonathan Taylor TD run. Say it with me everyone: Sheesh.

9. Subjectively ranking every game from an entertainment perspective

Bad football will always be better than no football. That said: We obviously are more excited for certain games over others, so every week I'll take a few minutes to rank the upcoming matchups due to subjective, at times stupid and silly reasons.

1. Jaguars-Chiefs: There's a non-zero chance Liam Coen tries to fight Andy Reid after the game.
2. Bills-Patriots: Slaying Bills Mafia in Buffalo on Sunday night football would be a pretty sweet first real big-time Drake Maye win.
3. Jets-Cowboys: Too high for two bad football teams? Perhaps, but the Cowboys are doing their best Joe Burrow-Bengals impression and rank first in total yards on offense … and last on defense.
4. Eagles-Broncos: Probably the best team in the NFL vs. a very good team that will engage in a physical, at times sloppy slugfest.
5. Rams-49ers: Pending a long list of injuries to San Fran (of course). Kyle Shanahan holds a 10-7 all-time lead over Sean McVay and nine of the last 12 meetings have been decided by eight-or-fewer points.
6. Chargers-Commanders: I should be more excited about Justin Herbert vs. (hopefully) Jayden Daniels. I think the only reason why this is so low is due to me just getting sad watching Ladd McConkey not ball out more cause I'm a bitter fantasy loser.
7. Ravens-Texans: Please be healthy Lamar Jackson. This will plummet otherwise.
8. Seahawks-Buccaneers: A battle between the 2022 Panthers QB room … and two of the league's 11 teams with three wins this season!
9. Colts-Raiders: Week 4 was the first time Daniel Jones looked mortal all season. People would start throwing the f-word around with a rough outing vs. the lowly, yet talented, 1-3 Raiders. Also: Fraud. That's the f-word. Just to be clear.
10. Bengals-Lions: This doesn't have anything to do with Dan Campbell and company, but the Bengals have become unwatchable without Joe Burrow. Seriously: What exactly do you do here, Zac Taylor?
11. Cardinals-Titans: This should in no way be confused with can't-miss television, but maybe these two largely mid-to-bad defenses can't help bring out some fireworks from offenses that theoretically could be fun. But is that likely? Absolutely not.
12. Saints-Giants: This probably would have been a few spots higher with a healthy Malik Nabers. Those f*cking Injury Gods. Get better soon, king.
13. Panthers-Dolphins: You get it.
14. Browns-Vikings: It's actually pretty hilarious we're blessing London with Dillon Gabriel vs. Carson Wentz in the year 2025. Sucks to suck, shouldn't have lost the Revolutionary War.

10. Three Bold Calls for Week 5

And I'm talking BOLD. No predicting Derrick Henry to have a big game, or Nico Collins to have 100 yards: We're dumpster diving here in the pursuit of glory, but I swear there's legit reasoning to the madness (usually based around the week's biggest on-paper mismatches).

1. Mason Taylor proves to be the bye-week TE you need, gains 75 yards and scores. The rookie has an every-down role in an offense with *one* talented pass-catcher (seriously, WTF is this WR room) and is blessed with the best matchup of the week against the Cowboys' sad excuse for a defense. Sign me up!

2. Josh Downs finally gets going, catches 8 passes for 95 yards and a TD. It's been the Michael Pittman and Tyler Warren show for the Indy passing game this season, but I still fully believe Downs is #good at football, and maybe a matchup vs. the Raiders' pass funnel defense is just what he needs to remind everyone of that. Throw in the potential for Alec Pierce (concussion) and AD Mitchell (doghouse) to be out of the picture, and perhaps this fairly crowded passing game condenses a bit for a week.

3. David Montgomery clears 100 yards and finds the end zone twice. It's tough to tell how much of the Bengals struggles are from them being bad vs. quitting on the season. So yeah, good luck against the Lions! There should be more than enough yards and points to go around for Dan Campbell's bunch; I like D-Mont getting back on track in a big way against the league's third-worst defense in RB rush yards before contact allowed per carry.

Last week: Romeo Doubs (6-58-3) did indeed go off, Alvin Kamara (15-70-0 rushing, 4-2-0 receiving) did not, and JK Dobbins (105 total yards) had a pretty good, albeit not great, evening at the office.

Thank you all for reading and best of luck in Week 5 and beyond!